an everyday miracle, last sunday. . .

last weekend I was lucky enough to be invited to attend a birth (I'm a certified doula, or birth-attendant). I attended the birth of these clients' first daughter last year - they are a lovely couple with whom I felt an immediate connection. the family decided at the last minute to have a homebirth after an uncomfortable conversation with a midwife at the hospital.
lucky for them they know a midwife/Calmbirth practitioner, who also sometimes attends homebirths!

as a doula who has only attended hospital births my experience as a passive participant in this birth was very different. driving in the early morning to the family's house I felt infinitely more relaxed. I did not have to think about explaining my way into a hospital birth suite; I did not have to wonder whether the midwife caring for the family would be 'doula' friendly; I didn't have to wonder if the medical professionals looking after my client would respect her wishes to birth by instinct and with minimal intervention. the result was that I arrived at the family's home without any stress or anxiety of my own to bring to the dynamic, and all with little effort - the feeling of comfort and trust in the people I would attend this birth with came naturally and unconsciously as a by-product of being comfortable with where the birth was taking place and knowing that the care-provider would be supportive. and these were just the effects on a bystander in a homebirth equation!

when I arrived mum was in active labour but still chatty in between surges. she practiced Calmbirth for her first birth as well as this one. Calmbirth uses visualization of 'safe places' to help gain mental control and calm the mind. mum by nature is a very focused person, and was extremely well practiced with controlling her breathing and focusing on getting through each contraction one breath at a time.

they decided at the last minute to keep their just-over 1 year-old daughter at home for the birth as well. this little one was incredibly in sync with her parents - during contractions she would come in close and touch mum gently. she did not want to be anywhere but in the room with them, she sensed that she should be present. when mum and dad hopped into the birth pool the little one sat on the edge and kicked her little feet in the water, tuned into mum's contractions. she was very interested when her mum blew out through flapping lips, and imitated her noises. she was innocent to the intensity during some of the more powerful and challenging moments, yet unconsciously empathetic at the same time. incredible

although she is probably a bit young to consciously remember the experience, it will surely leave an impression on her and her idea of what it means to give birth. looking at photos of her baby sister being born and seeing herself present and actively engaging with her mum and dad during the birth will surely enhance their bond. there was no strange moment to puzzle over when her parents arrived home one day with a new baby. the transition would include her and some very empowering feelings - first, about being an older sister - and later, about becoming a mother.

usually at births I only tear up when the parents are meeting the new baby for the first time - but this time I often felt quite emotional at the sight of their three heads together during a contraction. this picture is what i would like to visualize for all births in a perfect world! a little family getting ready to bring one more into the fold, together. . .

their second beautiful daughter was born just after 10 am. 7 and a half hours after the first contraction. her head was born on one surge, and her body on the next. she came up and out of the water to rest on her mother's chest to take her first breath and turn pink before our eyes. their older daughter jumped in the birth pool with them and the two who became three became four.

their minutes-old daughter found her way to the breast without any assistance or encouragement at all and self-attached with a perfect latch to have her first feed. a lovely perk of having been born gently and naturally - she took the next natural step after birth and began to suckle as she had been born to do.

watching the four of them fall in love, blanketed in the warm water of the birth pool it was as though they were all born together that sunny sunday.